Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
