You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Randomize
