with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
