I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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