i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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