porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
should my penis look like a turkey
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
