Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
