I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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