I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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