wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
