i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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