Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
