I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
