She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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