Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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