Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
