fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
