check it out our google latitudes are spooning
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
