I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
