i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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