She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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