can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
