I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
where does the pee come out of this thing
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
