I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
