P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
