I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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