is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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