Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
