Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I love having hate sex.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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