Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
