the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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