I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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