Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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