All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
