carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
