i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
