btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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