i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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