Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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