I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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