No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Apparently you make a good broom.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
