I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
