I'm so fucking centered right now
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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