So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
