pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
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