She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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