Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
