know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
