It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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