Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
