He is such a slut. More and more my type.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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