I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
honey bunches of taint.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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