I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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